As Jeff Kennon describes in his blog posts. Active listening is a lost art. It’s difficult to slow down in our daily lives and pay attention to those around us. Afterall, we are busy people and always occupied with ourselves.
“Now this habit of asking about another’s day I’m trying to walk in is much more involved than just spouting out some southern hospitality. I’m trying not to ask how someone’s doing as a form of greeting. You know what I mean? “Hey, how are you?” “Fine! And you?” “Fine” Why is everyone always fine? Truth is, things are not always “fine!” It’s just our customary exchange.
No, what I’m trying to do, or rather what I’m trying to be, is wholly present with someone. And this is the hard part, is it not? To notice someone. To present oneself as being available. To stop. To look another in the eye. To listen.
Here’s what’s I’ve discovered about developing a heart that listens to the heart of another—even a stranger— by throwing out the simple question: “How are you today?” People will talk! Yes, there are exceptions, but if you reveal you really are all there, that is, you pause and put your phone up and don’t look away and smile, you might be amazed at what you discover.
Could it be true that people are dying to be heard? Could it be that to offer our ear to another is one of the greatest acts of service we can perform?“”
Jeff Kennon – Jeff’s Substack
I’ve found his suggestion here to be true. If you genuinely want to connect with people actively listening goes much further than just waiting for your turn to talk. Instead of waiting for the next pause in conversation to talk about yourself I invite you to ask questions and engage actively with what the other person it trying to say. Once you get into the groove of doing this it becomes a habit and you’ll begin to notice the familiar back and forth of conversations where each person is just waiting for their turn to speak.
So be that one person out of a million that is listening and engaging with others. Be wholly present. I will do the same.